Here are some suggested guidelines (I really hate the word rules!) for date night to run smoothly:
1. One partner is Host. You are responsible for planning, purchasing food, arranging babysitter or feeding the kids, and paying for the evening as well as booking reservations.
2. One partner is Guest. You do nothing except enjoy yourself and utter not one word of complaint. If you don’t like it, you get your turn next week!
3. The Host lets the Guest know three things: What time to be ready, clothing required and whether to eat or not. The evening is revealed when you arrive at your destination.
4. There are four levels of conversation: 1) small talk, 2) information, 3) opinions and beleifs, and 4) feelings.
Try to get to level three and ultimately level four; the sharing of feelings. This creates intimacy, nurturing, and connection. It’s the level we often don’t have time for in the rush of everyday living, but is what we need to keep our relationships alive and functioning. Feels can be uncomfortable or comfortable, and we need to share both with our partner. Date night is a good time and opportunity for feelings sharing. And don’t forget to listen. Even if you don’t know what to say or talk about, listening is the glue that keeps people together.